Hyderabadi 'Traffic' Blues

This is the land of the finest Biryani, the Haleem and extraordinarily bad traffic. I come from Delhi, the place I though boasted of the worst traffic anywhere, until I landed here in Hyderabad, which took the cake and the icing. The normally mild mannered and soft spoken Hyderabadis turn into Road Warriors and Night Riders when on the wheel. You are not safe when facing them all by yourself on the slim curvy roads of Hyderabad. They inspire all the latest PSP and XBOX City racing games. They really define the term manoeuvre.
Some of the very specific pecularities of Hyderabadi driving are :

1. When on the road, gaps between vehicles are measured in 'mm' not meters or even inches. You can never really get too close.. it kinda helps in bonding.. :)

2. Small is big. The smaller you are, the more dangerous. Its really a city of nano-technology. The Autos rule the roost. They fear no one.. not even the killer buses that people and even cars dread of in Delhi. Autos will overtake buses from left on the thinnest of roads and ride on.. The scooters and bikes will criss cross through the traffic splitting the few inch gaps between cars.

3. Honk, the Hyderabadis will, need be or not. So you honk, if there is someone ahead of you or behind you. Or if you want to stop (which is rare) or if you want to take a turn. And you will also honk if you like the weather today or if its just too hot. Honk is soo very multi-purpose.

4. Red lights. You speed off if you see a red light. Just speed off with no regrets. But if you see a Green light, then slow down.. take a good look if what riders/ drivers on the other 3 segments of the crossing are doing before you honk away and then ride off. But red lights are safe to make a quick getaway.

5. Parking is an art. And Hyderabadis are eclectic when it comes to this art. They will innovate when it comes to parking. Its soo frigging boring to park under a parking sign, or in a public parking. So you become creative, and park in the second lane of a busy road.. or you park right on a crossing. And its not just SUVs or cars I talk about, the bike riders are as innovative. They will park right across the entrance of a Cafe to ensure all visitors rub through your bikes to make an entry.

6. Roundabouts. What roundabouts.. Roundabouts and its protocol (to drive clockwise until you get to your segment) is for losers. Its what the Brits infected us with. But not the oozing with pride Hyderabadis. So they will drive where they want to drive. If its a lane they want to take on the ride, they shall drive anti-clockwise to it.. Hell, its even fun to stop on the curve..

7. Mobile, the Hyderabadis are in a true sense of the word. Infact, doubly so. Not only are they riding/ driving, they are constantly talking on their mobiles. Be it the cars/ trucks/ Autos/ Bikes, one hand is always occupied to chat away. Actually, I suspect they are constantly in touch with the *base-station*/ ATC transmitting their coordinates and getting the next set of instructions. That probably explains the reason they manage to evade not only accidents/ collisions but also the polite roadside 'mamu' read Cop. High-tech, aint it?

So the next time you are visiting Hyderabad, and intend to drive/ ride, get an acclimatisation mastering the Monster Truck Madness. It isnt half as good to help you, but then you have a reference point!!


P.S.: Wish I had some pics to give you a first hand insight.. but then saving my life on the roads was a higher priority... :)